Half-Assed Morning Show Headlines

This baby at Kelvin Banks Jr.'s draft party really took "screaming, crying, throwing up" literally 🤣pic.twitter.com/Y6GL1zkFwT - Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) April 25, 2025

Grandmother's head yanked out of 23-foot python's mouth after she went missing in Indonesia pic.twitter.com/4BLlEckffI - New York Post (@nypost) April 16, 2025

Une femme de 80 ans est tombée d'un balcon du sixième étage sur le toit d'une voiture alors qu'elle était entrain de faire le ménage. Non seulement elle a survécu, mais elle est partie comme si de rien n'était. Cet incident s'est produit à Ekaterinbourg, en Russie...

@guinnessworldrecordsLargest mouth gape (female): 7.59 cm (2.98 in) - Marie Pearl Zellmer Robinson 🇺🇸 ♬ original sound - Guinness World Records

number of times a player has gone on the paternity list since it was instituted in 2011 pic.twitter.com/xn5yIPSPXb - BrooksGate (@Brooks_Gate) April 20, 2025

LeBron think he slick 🤣 (h/t bonbaguy23/TT) pic.twitter.com/10OAMCcEJS - Overtime (@overtime) April 23, 2025 One light slap and he's back on the floor crying. 😂 pic.twitter.com/eFd4LyQXpq - NBA Strife ツ (@strifeomg) April 23, 2025

Jimmy Butler hit the ground hard after being undercut by Amen Thompson 😳 pic.twitter.com/Icd2wBF50U - Warriors on NBCS (@NBCSWarriors) April 24, 2025

Auston Matthews snapped Ridly Greig's stick after it got pulled into the Leafs' bench during Game 1 😲 pic.twitter.com/fzmy66aTrc - Sportsnet (@Sportsnet) April 22, 2025

This kid, Kaeden Henry, is just awesome...definitely a unique idea!! Love his boldness. 6th grader's science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?' - Amy M. (@AmyM60468512694) April 23, 2025

Doctors find genius way to remove kids' flashing toy from man's insides pic.twitter.com/yXwKf6LCP0 - The Mirror (@DailyMirror) April 22, 2025

BYRON BUXTON CLINCHES THE GAME WITH AN UNBELIEVABLE CATCH! pic.twitter.com/9G4Ql38Yn6 - MLB (@MLB) April 23, 2025